An ‘eek I haven’t written anything for 3 months’ update

In my last monthnote I mentioned I had a new project, working at UK Trade and Investment (UKTI). Things have been busy since then, hence the radio silence.

I’ve been setting up a team to work on a new service for UK businesses that want to export, which you can read about on the UKTI digital blog. I’ve been very fortunate to hire a talented and determined team who are doing excellent work in sometimes challenging circumstances. I’ve also been working with UKTI colleagues on our internal tools, and doing regular skills-sharing sessions how you can use agile outside digital teams. It makes me very happy when people in finance teams tell me they’re doing stand ups.


(Photo by @mskatiebenjamin)

I’ve been doing a bit of talking too. I spoke about doing digital transformation in departments to government officials from Australia, New Zealand and Canada at Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s Digital Government Symposium. I spoke to cool design types at UCD2015 about feminism, punk rock and public services. This was the first time I’ve talked about my work in a personal way. I loved it and other people seemed to like it too. Girls to the front!

Monthnote July and August 2015

In June, I was approached by a new client: UK Trade and Investment (UKTI). In July, I filled in lots of forms for them and waited. I’m not very good at waiting. In August, I started work there as Head of Digital Services. My role is to set up a digital delivery team. We’ll build excellent services for UK companies that want to export and brilliant tools for UKTI staff. Over the 6 months I’m at UKTI we’ll take the first services through discovery, alpha and, if we go fast enough, beta. I’ve learnt loads from existing members of the UKTI digital team, who’ve been doing really valuable research and discovery work. There’s a big opportunity to improve the UK government’s trade services and I’m very happy to be involved.

I wrote about what I learned from working at GDS, what I learned from working at departments, and why we should keep getting better at digital government. People seemed to like it.

I went to San Francisco. It was lovely. I saw some big trees.

Big trees

Monthnote May and June 2015

I’ve had a quiet couple of months work-wise, so they are sharing a monthnote.

I just got back from Porto where I did some excellent wandering, eating, drinking and general hanging out. I was delighted to be in the presence of many beautiful buildings. Porto is full of gorgeous churches and dishy art deco. My two favourite kinds of building! I also went on a tram and a funicular, my two favourite forms of transport.

Porto church

Porto art deco

I finished working at the anonymous IT company after a year. I’m proud of what my colleagues and I achieved there. They now have a digital proposition for public and private sectors, a team and a go to market plan. I wish them the best of luck!

I’m doing my first Rebecca Industries event tomorrow (July, I know, but arranged in June). I’m MCing a breakfast event about digital health, at Digital Catapult in Kings Cross, London. The event is organised by TechTalkFest and Tech London Advocates. I’ve missed public speaking after not doing it for a few months, and am looking forward to this and hopefully many more events. They may have to drag me offstage.

Having less client work has given me more time to attend to my network. I’ve loved re-connecting with existing friends and meeting new people. I’ve also joined Exponential and am interested to try this more curated (sorry) way of getting to know new people in the industry.

Finally, I’ve been reading things and feeling inspired by them. I recommend them all! Ella wrote about simple things men in tech can do to make the industry less sexist. Ella recommended Lidia Yuknavitch’s The Chronology of Water, which is an absolutely exceptional memoir I cannot do justice to here. I devoured it in one sitting and will return to it many times. For your more theoretical needs, Wendy Brown’s Undoing the Demos is an argument that neoliberalism is hollowing out democracy, through an analysis of Foucault’s Birth of Biopolitics lectures. Sarah Sharma’s In the Meantime responds to the idea that technology is speeding up time by analysing the experiences of time by people in different jobs, and argues that people’s experience of time are shaped by their place in society. I’ll end my feminist nerd-out here.

Monthnote April 2015

In April I finished up my short project at Trafford Housing Trust, an organisation with an excellent commitment to neon, to which my limited photographic skills cannot do justice.


My role was to write them a digital strategy in 15 days. I’m proud of what I did in that short space of time. I’m grateful for inspiration on this project from from Emer ColemanLou Cordwell and Anne McCrossan. My Trafford colleagues, especially Matthew Gardiner and Liz Dowd, have grand ambitions for digital and I can’t wait to see what they do next.

I’ve also done more work for the anonymous IT company, mainly on proposals for potential clients. It’s nice to be doing business development work again. It’s been a few years since I’ve done it for people other than Rebecca Industries. It’s also nice to get top marks on the proposals from clients, hehe.

Outside client work, this month I bought a flat. I’m proud and happy to have achieved this important Rebecca Industries objective. Now I’m taking 2 weeks off to move in.

Monthnote March 2015

I’m in the mood for a brief, prose monthnote.

This month I worked on Trafford Housing Trust’s digital strategy. I feel very lucky to be doing a project with such a wide scope, where I can work on user research, digital skills for staff and customers and the internet of things as well as my usual (beloved) digital content and services. I also continued to work on setting up a digital service team at the anonymous IT supplier.

I started reading Pressed for Time: The Acceleration of Life in Digital Capitalism by Judy Wajcman, which is excellent so far. The gendered experience of time is one of my favourite topics. A book combining that with a feminist analysis of technology, by one of my favourite scholars, could not be more perfect.

I also went to see Sleater-Kinney 3 times. It was glorious.

Health apps and Haraway

My life has recently been enriched by two health apps. The work of Donna Haraway has enriched my understanding of why I like them, and why I don’t. Ella prompted me to think of them together.

Hormone Horoscope

Hormone Horoscope is an app for people with regular menstrual cycles. It’s very simple and very effective. It takes the findings from lots of scientific studies into the menstrual cycle and its effects, and feeds them to you day-by-day. Each day it gives you a ‘horoscope’ with information about your likely mental and physical state on that day of your cycle.


Babylon is a virtual GP. You book a video call with a GP, usually within an hour, do the consultation, and they email the prescription to a pharmacy of your choice. I have used it for minor ailments but I wouldn’t use it for anything more serious. It’s currently free but I will happily pay for it in future.

Donna Haraway


Donna Haraway is a feminist theorist of science and technology. Last weekend I re-read her essay A Cyborg Manifesto, which is probably her most famous work. One of the many arguments in A Cyborg Manifesto is to distrust binaries including the one between human and machine. Haraway makes this argument by writing about the concept of the cyborg. The essay is playful and complex.

I have learned from A Cyborg Manifesto that a strict binary between human and machine is incorrect. At the most basic level this has the implication that us humans are constituted by technology, and technology is part of us, we don’t live outside it. But while I begrudgingly accept I’m probably a cyborg not a human (or at least might be in future, and that this might be a form of liberation), I don’t like the idea of having health apps collect lots of data about me. I know my iPhone already does this to an extent, and it gives me the creeps. I suppose this makes me a reluctant cyborg.

A reason I like these two apps is because they use my input and combine it with other people’s existing scientific knowledge, which I would not otherwise have access to, rather than collecting data about me in the background and giving me the results, like lots of health apps. I like how all the medical knowledge Hormone Horoscope has about me is the start date and length of my menstrual cycle. I like that Babylon can link up with my medical records and update my regular GP with new information, or not. I like that it gives me better access to the medical profession, rather than collecting and analysing lots of information about me.

Haraway teaches us to ground our experiences and critiques of science and technology in their social contexts. A Cyborg Manifesto takes aim at patriarchy and capitalism, among other oppressive systems. This reminds me that my previous paragraph makes these apps sound more innocent than they are.

I am troubled by using private healthcare like this because I think excellent healthcare, including women’s healthcare, should be available on the NHS. I love Babylon because my GP’s surgery doesn’t give appointments quickly enough to be useful for short-term conditions, or conveniently enough to be accessible if you work. I love Hormone Horoscope because it makes scientific knowledge available in way that is meaningful for non-specialists, rather than leaving it in journals behind paywalls. They are both work-arounds for healthcare systems that don’t work for me.

They are also exclusionary for various reasons. They are only available to people with expensive phones, internet access and particular skills. Hormone Horoscope is very pink, presumably because it’s aimed at cis women. I could go on but this post was meant to mainly be about why I like these apps.

I’d like to write a sentence here that neatly resolves the conflict in me liking and disliking things at the same time but I can’t. I hope Haraway would approve.


Monthnote December 2014 and January 2015

This is a bumper monthnote because I took 2 weeks off at the end of December. I spent one of those weeks at home in Yorkshire. Here is Scarborough in all its gloomy magnificence. Note large expanse of grey sky.


At the anonymous IT company, colleagues and I have got approval to do the next stage of our project, which is brilliant news. I’ve also been doing some enjoyable work on digital projects for their clients.

Elsewhere, I’ve been turning my attention to using my skills for Good. I’ve started getting to know SH:24, a sexual health start-up, and will be helping them out a bit in February. I’ve become a fellow of the RSA. I’m not sure what exactly these two things are going to involve but I think they will be excellent. I’ve also got a new project with an organisation that does Good (and is ooop north) which starts in February.

Most importantly of all, Sleater-Kinney, creators of the Official Rebecca Industries Corporate Song returned with a new album called No Cities to Love. It is magnificent and made January 2015 the best January of all time. Surface Envy is currently my favourite song. It’s about working hard to achieve excellence, and choosing to do this hard work collaboratively.

Concept: executive realness

This is a post about a concept that helps me make sense of the world I work in. Part of my reason to write it is because I find that when feminist ideas are used in the digital, government and digital government communities work in, they are frequently used to explore and understand matters of gender only. For me, feminist, queer and anti-racist ideas can help us explore and understand much more. I would also like to modify the citational practices of digital government, which as an intellectual project rests almost exclusively on a canon written by white men.


When a person who is not a business executive dresses and acts so much like an executive, that people think they are an executive, and in some sense they become an executive.


To the best of my knowledge, ‘realness’ and the related concept ‘executive realness’ come from ball culture in the US in the 1980s and 1990s. Some drag performers explain what ‘realness’ means to them in the documentary Paris is Burning:

‘to be able to blend, that’s what realness is’

‘it’s not a take-off or a satire, no, it’s actually being able to be this’

The concept of ‘executive realness’ thus means being able to be an executive through your actions and presentation, even if you are not employed as an executive. Note that is means ‘being’, not just ‘pretending to be’. You can see a tiny bit of an example at 0:12 in the video. There are examples of executive realness elsewhere in Paris is Burning, but I can’t find clips of those sections online.

Note that the term is probably not fixed in definition, rather becoming fixed through the documentary (see bell hooks’ critique below).

The term has also been used in RuPaul’s Drag Race, which brings styles and language of drag balls to the genre of the TV talent show.

Paris is Burning has been analysed by feminist scholars including bell hooks in her essay ‘Is Paris Burning?’ and Judith Butler in ‘Stories that Matter’. In my mis-remembering, it is a text used in Butler’s ‘Gender Trouble’ in relation to the theory of gender performativity but this is not the case. I note that here because Gender Trouble and Paris is Burning, and so executive realness, are things I always think of together. I make a Butlerian interpretation of the concept because I stress the idea of someone ‘being’ or ‘becoming’ executive through their actions, not just the idea of pretending so well you pass. If the idea of ‘being’ or ‘becoming’ something rather than ‘pretending to be’ something through your actions is unfamiliar, Butler is a good place to start.


At the most superficial level, the concept points out that in the workplace, we are all acting within certain modes of behaviour. Or deliberately acting outside them, but probably not too much outside, else we are likely to have to leave the workplace.

The concept points out that executive-ness is unevenly distributed across bodies. In the context in which I live and work it is most frequently found on/in white, heterosexual, middle class, cis male bodies. It is naturalised in these bodies, so it doesn’t seem like acting or adopting and performing a set of behaviours, it just seems ‘real’.

Or, some people get to act in ways that accrue socio-economic privilege, in large part because of their existing socio-economic privilege, while others don’t.

The concept also shows, though, that these behaviours can easily be adopted by people who don’t usual exhibit them. If you can pass as an executive in a drag ball, then you could pass in an office. To stretch this again, there is no intrinsic greater value or talent in a person who gets to be an executive every day, than one who gets to pass as an executive in a drag ball. The only difference is that one owns the body on which executive-ness is most often found and moves in the socio-economic circles that make doing executive-ness everyday possible.

Or, don’t think you’re in your position just because of your talent and hard work. 

To use the concept in a more cheeky and personal way, when I dress smartly at work or perform boss-like tasks, I sometimes conceptualise myself as doing executive realness. As a white, middle class cis woman, I can pass as an executive pretty easily. There are small penalties for adopting these behaviours, for example receiving negative comments about being overly confident in my abilities, being called blunt, or being called masculine, or excessively careerist, which to the best of my understanding are not negative comments that men who are broadly equivalent to me receive. These are minor penalties, however, because I occupy a body which can pass as executive relatively easily, from which I accrue substantial socio-economic privileges.

Finally, and most importantly, the concept reminds me to value and respect the perspectives of people who do not adopt or fulfil the expectations of executive realness, either because their bodies are not those on which executive behaviours are naturalised, or because they do not choose to or cannot adopt these styles. It reminds me that there are people who do not appear at all in the work I do, where I frequently work entirely with people exhibiting executive behaviours. These ideas are often discussed in the workplace and in the technology sector in the language of ‘diversity’. I’m going to write more about ‘diversity’ and what it means to me separately.


I’m using the concept of executive realness a long way from its home. I am taking it from US to UK context and across boundaries of gender, race, class and sexuality, in which I am the more privileged party. bell hooks criticised the film Paris is Burning and its critical reception for presenting the particular culture of drag balls through the lens of a middle class, educated, white woman, as if it was an unmediated truth and ‘as though [Jennie Livingstone, the director] somehow did this marginalized black gay subculture a favor by bringing their experiences to a wider public’ (hooks cited in Butler, Bodies That Matter, Routledge, 1993, p92). I don’t think I’m doing them a favour by writing this post. I think the subjects of Paris is Burning did me a favour by creating a concept that illuminates how executive authority is created. (Edit: the language of ‘favours’ suggests that the creators of the concept did it to benefit me, which they didn’t – they did it for themselves and I pinched it). I hope I am using their concept respectfully, but do so expecting to be critiqued if I am not, in which case I will change or discontinue my use of it.

Grandma’s dictionary

I have been given my Grandma’s dictionary. It is my most treasured possession. It is an incredible thing, and a mystery.

Grandma’s dictionary is a handmade dictionary. The vast majority of the words it contains are between 2 and 4 letters, and most are obscure. They cover 75 pages. They are grouped by their first letter but are not in alphabetical order within the letter groups. Revisions have been made to some of the definitions.

The book is a lined pad of paper, reinforced with string. The outside covers have cloth pasted onto them, and the inside covers have wallpaper pasted onto them.

The first page of the dictionary
The first page of the dictionary

Grandma’s dictionary is a mystery. No one in the family remembers seeing before it was found in her house, after she died. It might well have been made while Grandma was in domestic service. We speculate that Grandma collected these words for playing Scrabble or for doing crosswords, both of which she loved. I wonder if she got the words and definitions from crosswords, though they might have come from another dictionary. Whatever the purpose, Grandma was educating herself after leaving school at 14. I think we could discover more about when the dictionary was made by looking at the definitions and seeing when they were current.

I plan to document every page online, so people can see the dictionary wherever they are, and make sure it goes to a good home when I’m no longer here either.